Kidney Stones
Will Hurt Thee
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Jan 2nd 2003 Kidney Stone
Right hand pass
~Touch Down~
I'm a newly diagnosed diabetic - insulin dependent which sucks donkey dung.
I was experiencing ~Extreme~ pain in the pancreas liver area. At the top of your solar plexus in the upside down V of your rib cage. I thought it had some thing to do with the diabetes.
Turned out that I passed a kidney stone. Keyrist! That pain is the screaming MiMi type of pain!
Pain and I are old friends/enemies I can handle much more than most can. Even smile through it. But this? Ooooo Nooooo. =Fork'n OUCH=
I went into ER expecting the worse.
Worse case scenario in my mind was this:
1.)
You have pancreatitis which is caused by pancreas cancer. (shudder) You have X-days months to live. ~Gulp~ Thank God it wasn't that!
2.)
Your gall bladder is no longer functioning because it is over filled with stones. Also your bile duct is blocked by stone/s. You must have your gall bladder surgically removed. This will happen at ___O-dark Hundred.
=Yikes!= This is what I was half expecting to be the case. Although for the life of me with all the colonics I have been doing for 2 years almost I couldn't fathom how/why this would happen.
3.)
You have a extreme case of gastritis. IOW's trapped fart bubbles of the upper intestines. Which I also thought could be the cause. Although the pain was too extreme for this to be the case in my mind. But who knows? Besides this being the cause would be far to knee slapping funny since I have an infatuation with flatulents! LOL
So the ER doc examines me. He is thinking it's #3.
The other possibilities in his opinion are:
1.)
Gastritis
2.)
Heart problem of some kind (which I didn't like hearing at all)
3.)
Gall Bladder
4.)
Ulcer at the bottom of the stomach. (which I didn't like hearing either)
So he had a full blood panel done.
Had a EKG done.
Then he had me given a GI cocktail.
A nasty lime green milk of magnesia concoction with some kind of caine derivative added that made my lips tongue and throat numb. (reminded me of the purple coke rock lolly pop of my high school daze! LOL)
Pain went away for about a half an hour.
Then BANG I'm back to whimpering groaning begging for a knock me out until next week fanny harpoon. Sitting up on the gurney rocking back and forth in agony.
As Nicole' would say:
"Yicks"
They take me to MRI wing of the hospital.
To have a ultra sound done on my abdomen. (No I was not having a miscarriage! LMAO!)
On the gurney roll up to the ultra sound room I'm out of it in pain and come to find out later my blood sugar was down to 41 so I was probably boarding on a diabetic coma. I fell asleep/passed out waiting to get the ultra sound done in the hall way.
When I get in the room and I wake up as I'm rolled in. I don't have any pain. =SHOCK= get the ultra sound done. Go back to ER.
Tell the nurse I better have something to eat and shoot up some insulin because it is now 1/4 to 10 in the morning and I'm behind schedule with that stuph.
She takes my sugar levels and chokes telling me I'm at 41. Runs to get me orange juice stands there while I gulp down 2 12oz glasses. Takes my blood sugar a half an hour later and it's at 102 whewww...
They give me a IV of peppermean or something like that. This is a super dooper anti acid thangie.
Then the doc reads my ultra sound results and tells me this:
Your pancreas is prominent. Prominent?
What does that mean I asked laughing. It's got a lot of social culture? Huh? We both started laughing.
He said well that is what is written here. It means it's enlarged or pushed forward. IOW's you have a pissed off pancreas. Ok now we're are talking Doc
Your right kidney is slightly enlarged. Not prominent... more laughter.....
It is also irritated in the blah blah region. I don't remember the lingo.
So in summary what happened is you passed a kidney stone. Because both your pancreas and your right kidney are prominently pissed off!
...Heee ....heee.....
A Chit-caggie friend asked if I thought more kidney stones where in store for me in the future?
My Reply:
Well when I had the body scan it showed a stone in my right kidney. =Nothing else= No more stones any where. So for some reason? I dunno what/why? This one stone decided to do an exit act. Also scream LOUDLY the entire journey!
The ultra sound I had done yesterday which was Jan 2, 2003 also shows gall stones. It didn't show anything remarkable or the ER Doc would have said something. This is really good news, in my opinion. To me this says the colonics are helping a great deal!
Yippy!
A friends response to this webpage:
How can one person who takes such excellent care of their physical self have all these things happen to them? And yet... still be humorous about it. There must be a part of your mind, that knows that this is the way it is for now.... and since it was part of your contract, you're not pulling down the drapes nor pouting in a corner.
My Reply:
You gotta go through what you gotta go through. You don't have a choice in this. However. You =DO= have a choice on your tude while going through it. I'm being selfish really. I pamper myself with laughter. Why get mad when you have to get glad all over again?
I had fun with the ER staff. Why not? It made it more enjoyable for me & for them. I had to be there any way.
....shrug.....
I guess humor is a natural reaction for me. I was raised with it and I think it's embedded in my DNA! LOL
Thanks for sending a link to your page. It's an absolute riot. I added it to my joke page in the new
"personal humor pages" section
Kent AKA Gnu-Bee
Just telling it straight from the blood pressure cuff!
You know Life can be hysterically funny. Or desperately tragic. I look for the grins in life when ever possible. A good guffaw can be a cherished moment that helps you slide through a few minutes ahead that maybe a negative heart zinger.
If I could collect smiles and giggles like green stamps
(remember those? Are they still around? lol) paste them in a book I would pass them out to the people I see so often in my daily travels with the deep etched frown lines.
Laughter is like brille cream (yuk that greasy stuph) a little chuckle will do you!